Part 4: Once In A Lifetime

After dragging this story out for months, we have finally made it to the crescendo. The grand finale. The conclusion to this particular story. I mentioned in Part 3 that something happened we didn’t see coming. Something big.

Five months ago . . . 

After looking for a home for three months all throughout Carlsbad and having no luck at all finding what we needed in our price range, Chris and I decided to buy a new home still being built in a master planned community. It was scheduled to be finished in the middle of October. The only problem with this plan was that for three months we would be homeless. We all considered this a great summer adventure. Here we are, a family of six, with no home to call our own for three months. The kids liked to tell everyone they met that we were homeless like they were wearing it as a badge of honor. Clearly, my kids have no idea what it really means to be homeless. And hopefully they never will. They announced our homelessness mainly in grocery stores, and we always got a few raised eyebrows from the grocery store baggers.

Luckily we had a plan to combat our homelessness. The plan was that we would stay in my parent’s home for three weeks while they were on vacation, and then we would travel down to Thousand Oaks for another 2 weeks to stay at Chris’ parents’ home before we needed to be in San Diego for school to start. From there, we had another two months with nowhere to live. Old family friends from many moons ago who live in San Diego generously offered for us to stay in their house for the remaining two months of our adventure. It is difficult to live with other people or have other people live with you, so I was dubious about this plan. Nevertheless, we accepted this kind offer.

August 15th. . . 

We moved our meager amount of belongings into our friend’s home,  Even with the few belongings we brought with us, our living quarters were cramped because there were six of us invading our friend’s home. We were now living a half an hour away from the kids’ school and soccer practice, which meant a lot of driving for us, but we just included this in part of the adventure during this nomadic experience. Living with other people in their house was not always easy or convenient, but we all learned lifelong valuable lessons about how other people live, how to be gracious, and the virtues of patience.

And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?

-Once In A Lifetime, Talking Heads

September 15th. . . 

A month before we were going to close escrow and move into our house, Chris got a call from his company informing him that they were laying off a bunch of people, and he was one of them. Chris had never been laid off before. It was all very surreal like we were in a movie or a dream and we would wake up soon to resume our normal life. Chris is always a superstar at his job, therefore we felt impervious to layoffs. But in the cutthroat world of corporate America, nobody is safe from the harsh guillotine of job cuts.

Chris had been gone all day. He had been laid off at 9 am and was home at 9 pm. He called me from the car outside the house we were living and told me to come out to the car. I thought this was weird, but times were weird. Chris told me the news very quickly. I got laid off from my company, he said. Just like that. He spent the entire day thinking about how he would deliver this news. There is no easy way to deliver that kind of news, so he decided to deliver it the way I delivered the news of our move to San Diego.

Chris was sure I would freak out like Joan Crawford in Mother Dearest, which kind of surprised me because I am not really the freakout type. But I didn’t freak out because I knew this shocking moment needed to be met with as much serenity as I could muster. Plus, I was in shock. Here we were in a brand new city, living with other people in their home and not enough space so our shit was shoved in closets and every nook we could find, and we hadn’t closed escrow on our brand new home, then Chris loses his job.

I figured with Chris’ personality and job skills he would find a job in his industry quickly. What I didn’t know was how we would keep our home. What I didn’t anticipate was, when you are desperately looking for a job it doesn’t always happen as quickly as you want it to.

When the bank called to confirm employment, we wouldn’t be employed, then we would lose our house and all the money we had put down on it already. We had a company car, which they swiftly came and took from us, leaving us with one car, four kids, and a dog.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!

-Talking Heads, Once In A Lifetime

The big coincidence here is that we faced this very same situation when we bought our very first home in Carlsbad 17 years ago. At the time, I was working for this super lame ad agency with a bunch of super lame people who thought they were the coolest people in the world. I guess I wasn’t cool enough because they laid me off. They let me go exactly a month before escrow was supposed to close on our brand new home that was being built. This was our very first home we ever bought. We needed both of our incomes to buy the home. It is uncanny how similar the situation we face right now is, except for this time we have four kids to take care of and we really need a home. And we need money so we can feed them and pay for all the incredible amount of things that children require.

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

-Talking Heads, Once In A Lifetime

To make a very long story short, Chris’ brother and sister-in-law saved our home by co-signing on our mortgage. For that, we are so eternally grateful to them. What an altruistic act.

Present Day. . . 

It has been three months and we are in our new beautiful home. Chris is still pounding the pavement, interviewing, trying to find a great job for our family. It turns out losing your job around the holiday season is not ideal. Things are moving very s-l-o-w-l-y. But there are a few great potential jobs that Chris is in the running for. Chris and I have learned how to be patient and try to keep a positive attitude. Some days I feel happy and confident and know everything will be OK. Other days I want to scream WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO US, AND WHY RIGHT NOW?

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? Am I wrong?
And you may say yourself, “My God! What have I done?”

– Talking Heads, Once In A Lifetime

To be in a new city and have something life changing happen feels very lonely. We are sticking tightly together as a family. We will get through this. Because my good friend tells me to think of three things I am grateful for every day and meditate on it, today I am thankful for beautiful sunshine, happy kids, and knowing that this too shall pass.

Letting the days go by (same as it ever was)
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was)
Once in a lifetime
Letting the days go by
Letting the days go by

• -Talking Heads, Once In A Lifetime

Until next time, the mothership is signing off.