I woke up yesterday and fully intended to have a great day, but I had a few things working against me. First, Chris and Preston are in LA leaving me alone with these crazy girls. Second, I woke up with a sinus headache. Third, I am PMSing.
Ava was having a particularly wild day. The girls had destroyed my house in a matter of minutes with their various projects. My least favorite house destroying game is when Ava pushes the little kids around the house in a laundry basket playing “grocery store”. This game consists of the little kid telling Ava what they want to put in their grocery cart and this ends up being an accumulation of various crap from every single room in the house.
Ava likes to put on plays and dances and she makes props and collages and tapes them to the wall. She sets up every chair in the entire house in rows in front of the “stage” for her audience. I spend the whole day retrieving my chair I need to sit at my desk. Then she barricades the family room off with all of these audience chairs so I end up having to climb over the piano bench to get to the other side of the house.
I am happy that she is using her imagination to play, but I am unhappy that every project Ava plays creates a huge mess that I later have to fight with them to clean up.
So I was grumpy yesterday. I think when Ava and Elsa got a pencil jammed in the brand new pencil sharpener they weren’t supposed to use and then somehow dropped the pencil shavings all over the floor is when I really started to lose it.
But when Elsa came in the house from the garage with gold glitter glue painted in designs all over her face and hair is when I silently lost it.
The silent “lose it” is scarier than the outward explosion lose it. The silent lose it is when I am rendered speechless and my children will pay, and they will pay big time. When my children see the silent lose it come on they usually start in with a stream of very sincere apologies – the “I know I really F’d up this time and please don’t kill me or put me up for adoption apology.” The silent lose it is way more powerful.
So I silently wiped the glitter glue from Elsa’s face and sat down for a little calm one-on-one with Ava about why she would make such choices. This is when she usually tells me that her body made her do it — AKA, I have no control over myself — which is somewhat true.
So to get us ladies out of the house and in a different environment, I took them to see Beauty and The Beast 3D. We went with Angela and a bunch of other girls. There were 10 little girls total at the theater.
On the way, I stopped at the gas station mart and I so I could buy the little girls M&M’s and Ava got to pick out any candy she wanted. She chose sour skittles. When we got to the theater I payed my $50 for the four of us to go see a matinee and we made our way back to the theater. Right as we passed the concession stand Ava stated “see! They have way better candy here!” The expletives I wanted to shout out at her for this comment I held back and instead I calmly said, “wow Ava, it would be great if you could be appreciative of the candy I bought you.” Gratitude does not come naturally for everybody.
The girls had a lot of fun in the theater. They did a great job sitting quietly through the entire movie. Elsa spilled a whole glass of water down the front of herself and sat half naked for the last half of the movie. Elsa had managed to finish all of the M&M’s in her bag in less than one minute. By the end of the movie, Violet had most of her M&M’s still in the bag, closed off and clutched tightly by her white knuckled fists. She likes delayed gratification. Elsa likes instant gratification.
So as we filtered out of the movie with all 10 girls, Ava was striking a deal with Violet: She said, “Violet, if you give me an M&M I will give you a sour skittle.” Ava handed over a sour skittle and Violet popped it in her mouth immediately. When it was time for Violet to uphold her end of the bargain, she flipped out. Ava tried to pry an M&M from the bag that was being tightly clutched by Violet and Violet screamed bloody murder and began crying hysterically. During her hysterics over the potential theft of one of her M&M’s, Violet choked on an M&M. I picked her up to make sure she could breath. She was still hysterically crying which tipped me off that she was still breathing. I looked up and 9 girls were staring at us, watching the show. I looked down and there was a piece of a red M&M and the red dye smeared all over my brand new never before worn pure white Splendid shirt that I got from The Domestics for Christmas. Elsa looked at my shirt and said, “mom, did VV choke on a red M&M?” I said, “yes, it appears that way.”
Luckily, I somehow anticipated this mayhem way in advance and planned myself a girls’ night out that night at the new Irish Pub. We had a great time. I had three glasses of wine which lightened my mood right up.
But every day is a fresh day and I work hard to find a fresh attitude. After all, they are just kids and these are the kinds of things that kids do in their learning and growing up process. One day I may laugh about it all. . . but not today.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.