If I have my fingers on the pulse of motherhood, and I like to think I do, I would say that moms are pissed off! I heard the mumblings in the neighborhood and I read some very poignant blogs voicing outrage about a certain subject: out of control holiday celebrations.
As far as I know, it all began around St. Patrick’s Day. Pinners on Pinterest were going crazy pinning their favorite St. Patty’s Day crafts and decorations. All my kids would talk about for a week was wearing green, getting pinched and what the leprechaun’s could possibly be bringing them this St. Patrick’s Day.
The kids would come home talking about what friends were doing at their homes to celebrate. My friend invited Ava over to play with her daughter one afternoon. This year, for the first time ever, my friend had decorated a table in her house with shamrock lights and scattered some shamrocks about. In their house, there were charming stories told of mischievous little leprechauns who left confetti and coins in people’s shoes and broke into a box of Lucky Charms where he left a Shamrock. Well, when Ava saw these decorations and heard of the naughty little Leprechaun, she said with a heavy sigh and an intense eye roll, “The leprechauns don’t come to our house.”
Oh yes, I had nipped those Leprechaun dreams in the bud days before. “No way! There are no leprechauns and we do not celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in our house!” I exclaimed with all my mighty mom power. I had really had enough of the holidays blazing in with their bright colors and stratosphere of expensive shit leaving only candy wrappers and stomach aches in their wake. “But there are rainbows mommy,” Elsie chimed in. “Oh. Um. Yes rainbows are real and they are beautiful,” I agreed.
Only a few weeks before, Valentine’s Day had nearly catapulted me into insanity when I created 120 printable cards for my kids to pass out, only to realize that Valentine’s isn’t like it used to be when I was a wee kid. In Ava’s 3rd grade class kids were showing up hauling large cardboard boxes filled with goodie bags and boxes to celebrate this lame holiday. I felt inadequate. I asked Ava’s teacher what happened to just passing out some cheesy cards with TO: and FROM: written on the back? She said that she doesn’t know what happened but she though Valentine’s Day should be more like that still.
Before us moms are even able to boot those leprechauns out on the rainbow they rode in on with one swift kick, the freaking Easter Bunnies have hopped onto the scene. Now I will say that the good thing about Easter are the Cadbury Eggs which I delight in each year with reckless abandon. Other than that, it is another holiday with high expectations from the kids where I am required to fork out big money for stuffed animals bunnies and chicks and baskets of junk that they will obsess over for the next week.
I’ve been reading some other great blogs on this topic and I know I am not alone in my desire to stop the holiday madness. This is why I hereby declare the launch of my new group called:
“Mother’s Against Youth Holiday Exploitation and Manipulation” otherwise known as MAYHEM.
Here are the rules:
1. No one is allowed to distribute anything at school other than cheap cards at Valentine’s Day . No candy or gift boxes allowed. There will be an exception for the boxes of disgusting candy hearts with illegible sweet nothings written on it.
2. St. Patrick’s Day may be celebrated in full in Ireland or by people of Irish descent, but the rest of us get a free pass. Wearing green is a fun tradition, but lets leave it at that.
3. Pi Day may only be celebrated by mad scientists. Leave us proletariat out of it.
4. We will stick to the traditional Easter egg hunt, egg decoration and Easter feast on Easter. Plastic eggs filled with jelly beans. Ham. Deviled eggs. That sort of thing.
Let’s get this movement in motion and free the parents from unreasonable expectations at holiday time. If all the mothers and fathers abide by the terms of MAYHEM, the result would be less frustrated and financially compromised parental units.
Come on! Get on board. Leave me a comment with your support.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.