I would like to outline a day in the Woolsey household. I haven’t done this in a while, and since today was a busy day in which I feel I accomplished a lot by myself, I thought I would write it down. In 20 years from now my kids can read this and appreciate me more . . . maybe.
7:00am: wake up and get two milks and two juices ready for the kids. Tried to make my beloved wonderful tasty cuppa Joe (even my kids say “mommy’s coffee”) and, alas, there was no coffee left.
7:10am: called Chris in San Francisco and said, “really Chris? No coffee? Really? You didn’t tell me there wasn’t any coffee left and now I am all by myself with all these kids all day and I don’t have my morning cup of coffee!” Chris says, “I did tell you there wasn’t any coffee. Remember when I said as I was making yesterdays coffee that this is our last brew?” I said, “No, I do not remember that.”
7:15am: get Preston and Violet up from bed and carry them both down (this has to stop for the health of my body) and give them their juice and milk. Go back upstairs and get Elsa and give her milk.
7:20am: run upstairs and get clothes for everyone to wear
7:30am: Ava is up and this is a very late morning for her. Normally she is awake by 6:30 and downstairs by 7:00am. She is fighting an illness or allergies so today was a sleep in for her. She drinks her juice.
7:35am: I call everyone in for breakfast. I put three kids in their booster seats, strap them in and put their trays on. I run to the drying rack to get the bowls and make four bowls of oatmeal. After they eat that I make Preston and Ava their second bowl. I toast two waffles for the kids but everyone just plays with them with their utensils instead of eating them.
8:00am: I clean everyone’s hands and face and strip them of their pajamas and take them into the playroom. I change three diapers and put three sets of clothes on. I lock everyone in the playroom and run upstairs really fast to get Ava’s clothes. I throw Ava’s clothes to her to get dressed and run into the bathroom to get my clothes and makeup on and brush my hair. This takes 5 minutes which is all I have to spare before someone hits or bites somebody else in the playroom while I am gone.
8:15am: I run into the kitchen and make Ava her lunch which she may not eat at all while she is at school. I throw it in her backpack. While I am by the back door to the garage I hustle into the laundry room to grab four pairs of shoes.
8:25am: I literally run into the bathroom and grab three hair ties, a detangler spray and a comb. I start with Ava’s lion’s mane of hair, combing it and pulling part of it back out of her face. I then comb Violet’s hair and she yells “OW” at me about 3 times. I tell Violet sorry for pulling her hair while I am putting it into a pony tail and Ava then reminds me that Violet just likes to say “OW” a lot. I move to Elsa and put her hair part way up and then she immediately pulls it out even though I use those rubberbands that are supposed to be impossible to pull out.
8:30am: I yell, “everyone in the car” and release my herd of wild animals from the playroom. Everyone runs to the back door except Preston who has gotten sidetracked by the tool cupboard and within 5 seconds has 5 screwdrivers pulled out of the drawer and was carrying them around proudly. “Daddy’s tools,” he said. I snatched them from his hands before he killed someone with them and shuffled my posy out the door. I lifted three kids into their car seats, buckled three kids in (luckily Ava can do herself) and then put in Elmo Potty Time, the blockbuster hit about a little red furry creature who talks funny trying to go potty in the toilet. It is a real classic. The sad part is that I feel guilty that I let my kids watch TV in the car when we go places. I actually used to judge other moms who did this. This is why you should never judge other moms unless they are holding their kids upside down by their feet or something. Oh well, I tell myself that they really hardly watch TV at home because they won’t sit around that long to do it, so this is their time for TV viewing. Oh, and did I mention it makes for a very pleasant and peaceful drive?
8:45am: we arrive at Starbucks where I order my tall 2% mocha and tell myself that I really don’t need to buy the lowfat cinnamon swirl coffee cake today. And I don’t. It is a miracle. I order Ava a chocolate Horizon milk (not the Vanilla one because she tell me it gives her a tummy ache). The triplets are set with their Peter Rabbit Organics Strawberry and Banana fruit puree drink, but when I reach back to give Ava her chocolate milk they let out a courtesy grunt just to let me know that they noticed that Ava got a chocolate milk and they are drinking the organic pure fruit drink. I think to myself, when you are five I will have to buy FOUR horizon chocolate milks everytime I want a god damn mocha for myself which is going to definitely come out of their college fund.
8:55am: We are on our way to the dentist office in Placerville to get four mouths of teeth cleaned. We arrive early so I can fill out massive amounts of paperwork for the three kids who have never gotten their teeth cleaned.
9:15am: yep, let the paperwork begin. The receptionist gives me a sympathetic look as she hands me the first round of papers to fill out. By page 2 I am getting a large cramp in my hand. I check my work and I am f’ing up all over the place with wrong names and wrong social security numbers and mixing up birthdates with today’s date. It is a real mess. Not to mention my handwriting is getting worse with each form. I hear crying from the play area. “What happened?” I asked with my head buried in the forms. Elsa emerges from the play area and says “Violet bit me” with her sad face. I walked Elsa in to get an apology from Violet and she was seriously like Picasso sitting on a stool in front of her easel with pens in each hand and beautiful scribbles all over her paper. She looked up at us and smiled, clearly not caring about the pain she inflicted on Elsa. It is the same old story: Violet was minding her own business playing nicely by herself when Elsa came by and thought she would take over all of Violet’s stuff and then Violet bit her. I looked over to my right and Preston was taking was a boring plain plastic plate and coloring it in different colors with the markers. I am sure the office is going to be so excited that the plates have a design on them now.
9:35am: I am done filling out paperwork and my old pal Heather who I danced ballet with from the time I was little greets us in the waiting room. She and I try to coordinate the strategy of which kids should go in first and who should go with whom, like we are planning to go into battle. Ultimately we decide to save the hardest for last: my precious Violet June. Heather suggest we just bring Preston and Elsa in but Ava insists on going in also to help her brother and sister make it through the teeth cleaning without having a nervous breakdown. Ava is the best big sister ever. Heather and her colleague rip my children from me (they are clinging to me for dear life) and bring them back behind closed doors. Meanwhile Violet and I are chilling in the waiting room. I am warning Violet about her impending trip to the back room with the evil dental hygienists and she keeps saying an affirmative “NO” to that. Soon enough, the hygienists were after her. She left kicking and screaming. They said she cried the entire time she was in there. That is my VV – she doesn’t like people she doesn’t know touching her – she is a smart girl.
10:25am: I load four children up in the minivan and run back in because in my faint visual memory I recall a huge tub of lollipops. I am not sure if I really saw these in the pediatric dental office or not, so I run back in and sure enough there are the sugar-free lollipops. They have saved me from three screaming children. I proudly deliver the lollipops to my posy and we head out to drop Ava off at school.
10:45am: I am a bit late so I call my mom a minute before I get to school and she greets me at the curb to hand deliver Ava to Kindergarten. Oh yes, there are a many perks to having the grandma be the principal of the school.
10:50am: The little kids and I head to Tumble Time to do some gymnastics. I am less than enthusiastic to participate in this activity but I go because I payed for it and because the kids love it. I get them all to hold hands with each other as we walk through the parking lot – always a proud moment for me.
12:00pm: I load the three kids back up in the car and we head home. While three whining kids are clinging to me I muster up some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, some sliced cheese, peaches and blackberries. I put sliced turkey on their plate and for three days in a row they remove it from their plates, disgusted that I would include that in their lunch.
12:30: three diaper changes and then I put the kids to bed. I put them to bed a little early because we were all tired.
1:00pm: Commence clean up starting with the playroom, then the kitchen, bedroom, family room, etc.
I could go on but I have said enough and am exhausted. Life is busy every second of the day and sometimes it is just nice to capture the details to remember what it was really like.
Until next time, the mothership is signing off.