ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — The images of that night in Cincinnati were seared into our consciousness. The world, riveted, sat and stared at their televisions as it transpired and consumed the coverage for several days after.
That seemed like a lifetime ago for the rest of us. But for Damar Hamlin, it was his life. In some very literal ways, it became another life. He died on national television and was brought back.
“I think about it all the time,” Hamlin said. “As much as the world experienced it, it happened to me.”
At some point, we moved on to other events and games and storylines. Buffalo Bills fans could stop worrying about Hamlin’s health and fixate on owning the Miami Dolphins, hating the Kansas City Chiefs, fighting online about whether Josh Allen deserved the MVP or is overrated, gushing over Dalton Kincaid and Keon Coleman — any number of topics du jour.
Sure, we would check in with Hamlin to celebrate various markers in his return from a freak cardiac arrest while making a routine tackle against the Cincinnati Bengals on “Monday Night Football.” Returning to practice. Putting on the pads again. Taking that first hit. Playing a preseason game. Making his first live-action tackle. We’d note how Hamlin handled it and then move on. He was OK.
Hamlin, meanwhile, has been living a new life.
“I’m blessed for many reasons,” he said, “and I have a second chance at doing things the right way in all areas of my life.”
But a big part of Hamlin’s journey was returning to the man and football player he used to be.
For the first time since that excruciating night 20 months ago, Hamlin will be a starting safety Sunday, when the Bills open their season against the Arizona Cardinals in Highmark Stadium.
“What an accomplishment,” Bills coach Sean McDermott said during a reflective moment Wednesday morning. “Just as big as him not only deciding to go back to football, but full-contact, NFL football. It’s a physical game for anyone, let alone a young man who went through what he went through.
“I can’t even imagine, and I don’t think many can, what he went through to get to where he is.”
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What occurred in Cincinnati was so shocking and disturbing that, as NFL executives and officials debated whether to resume the anticipated Bills-Bengals showdown, McDermott had already made up his mind not to coach. He wasn’t going back to the sideline. He handed the job to defensive coordinator and assistant head coach Leslie Frazier and informed Bengals coach Zac Taylor.
McDermott was going to the hospital to be with Hamlin, game or no game.
“There were no real questions asked,” McDermott said. “I repeated myself so Leslie and Zac knew that what they thought they heard is what I was really saying because it’s not normal.”
The Bills stood with Hamlin throughout his comeback. He wasn’t good enough to get a uniform most weeks, but he remained on the 53-man roster.
Purely on paper, he was a 2023 fringe player. He was a healthy scratch for all but five games. He started zero. Hamlin played only 17 defensive snaps, making two tackles all season. Those are the stats of a player who usually gets waived or dropped to the practice squad a time or two.
McDermott got emotional when asked about the power of Hamlin’s example even in street clothes on the gameday sideline.
“When you talk about an asterisk year, put two asterisks by this one because where do you find that in the player’s or head coach’s or organizational handbook?” McDermott said.
“Totally understanding the decisions made in the 11th hour, when you’re cutting the roster down, yeah, it would have been unpopular (to release Hamlin). Having said that, you always have to do what’s in the best interests of the team. I can tell you, he earned it. Whether he was the first guy in the boat or the last guy in the boat really doesn’t matter. Watching his trajectory from that time to now, very impressive.”
So 2023 essentially was an investment in Hamlin and the organization, a development year for what we see today. Hamlin could have walked away from football, probably with some kind of lifetime ambassador role within the Bills front office, but he remained patient while testing himself. The Bills allowed him the space and time.
Long snapper Reid Ferguson saw Hamlin’s evolution on a daily basis. They have adjoining locker stalls and talk often.
“He was a light in the room, always bringing the good energy,” said Ferguson, the longest-tenured Bills player. “That’s what we were looking for from him.
“Maybe the second half of last year, we were seeing Damar as Damar — at least I was. It was taking those steps on a daily basis, getting back to the guy before the Cincinnati game. I don’t believe that night is what he wanted as his identity. He worked through it, first pads practice, making the team, all those steps and hurdles he had to get through.”
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The Bills were uncertain, rightfully so, about Hamlin filling the void left by the departure of longtime safety tandem Jordan Poyer and Micah Hyde. Even with the development year, Hamlin was like an early astronaut. Who knows what will happen to him or what his body and mind can handle?
They signed free agent Mike Edwards, who won Super Bowls with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Chiefs, drafted Utah safety Cole Bishop in the second round, added 15th-year veteran Kareem Jackson in training camp and kept the door open for Hyde to return instead of retire.
Edwards struggled with a hamstring injury and Bishop hurt his arm. Jackson, at 36, didn’t add significant on-field stability, but was signed to the practice squad.
Hamlin this summer looked more like the player you would have expected last year if he hadn’t gone into cardiac arrest and had his world upended. He played like a young defensive back, building off a competent, 13-start season. That’s the work he laid down in 2022.
“I thank everybody in this entire building from the top down for supporting me and giving me the space to allow me to heal and have my process exactly how I needed it to go,” Hamlin said.
“It truly propelled me into allowing myself to be free this season. Last season was primarily just about healing and making myself do the hard stuff, thrusting myself into things that were uncomfortable, that made me fearful or gave me anxiety. But I was doing the hard stuff last year to make it easier this year.”
Last year, as the rest of the world moved on from Hamlin aside from the occasional check-in, he kept his mind focused on the day-to-day process, the here-and-now grind. Hamlin couldn’t just forget the cardiac arrest and the subsequent coma and burst back onto the field to assume the same professional place he was in during pregame warmups in Cincinnati.
Hamlin likes to post sticky notes around his bathroom, motivational reminders of what’s important so that, when he starts his day, he can absorb a thought or two. A favorite saying he mentioned Wednesday while talking with reporters was “Consistency is the true mark of greatness.”
“I reflect back on the whole process and me not knowing if I would even be able to play again, sitting in the uncertainty,” Hamlin said. “It was really eating at me because football is truly my passion. It’s the thing that I’ve always been obsessed with my entire life
“It all goes to the power of being process-oriented and taking things one day at a time and accepting where you are each step in the process. It truly allows you to conquer anything that you’re facing.”
Across the chest of his black hoodie were two more words: “Don’t Quit.”
(Photo: Joe Sargent / Getty Images)
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